Fisker Announces Electric SUV For $40k, Implying You May One Day Be Able To Buy It
Fisker Automotive’s namesake Henrik Fisker released teaser images on Thursday for the brand’s new electric SUV. The news comes after the brand was resuscitated in 2014 to the beat of Staying Alive, and millions of Chinese dollars. Along with a teaser image, the designer also announced the purchase price; forty grand. This of course makes the completely safe assumption you may one day be able to … Continue reading Fisker Announces Electric SUV For $40k, Implying You May One Day Be Able To Buy It
FIA Hastily Stashes Gasoline Soaked Tube Socks As Vettel Storms Into Race Control Office
MONTRÉAL—Following his controversial penalty Sunday, Sebastian Vettel stormed into FIA race control to make an attempt at appealing the decision. He did not expect what he found in the small office. Anonymous sources at the scene tell us that Vettel came upon all of the stewards huffing Ferrari’s race fuel from drenched tube socks. Sources say that when confronted with their abuse of the fuel, … Continue reading FIA Hastily Stashes Gasoline Soaked Tube Socks As Vettel Storms Into Race Control Office
Exquisite Collector’s 2003 Corvette One Of Just 97,641,935 Produced In Red
FORT WORTH, TX — Having acquired an immensely rare combination of color and model year, local car collector Don Bryanton was reported to own one of just ninety-seven million, six hundred forty-one thousand, nine hundred thirty-five examples of the 2003 Chevrolet Corvette finished in “Red” from the factory. “She’s a real one-of-a-kind,” he told us in an interview, affectionately patting the car’s roof a few … Continue reading Exquisite Collector’s 2003 Corvette One Of Just 97,641,935 Produced In Red
Cadillac Announces New, “Please fuck off, we are trying.” Ad Campaign
DETROIT—After receiving mixed feedback at the release of the new CT5-V and CT4-V, Cadillac has announced a new ad campaign aimed at receiving pity from prospective buyers and enthusiasts. We arrived in Detroit Monday morning to get a briefing from a Cadillac spokesperson about the new initiative. When we arrived we were seated at a desk in one of their engineering offices, with a seemingly … Continue reading Cadillac Announces New, “Please fuck off, we are trying.” Ad Campaign
B/T Reviews: The 2019 Mazda Miata, 1300 Miles Worth Of Southern Germany
My girlfriend decided to do a semester abroad in Cologne, Germany. When she told me she was doing this, I planned on visiting. When I planned on visiting, I planned on renting a car. I drive stick every day, which turned out to be good. My only options without driving stick were some flavor of Citroen or Peugeot hatchback (according to the SIXT website). You … Continue reading B/T Reviews: The 2019 Mazda Miata, 1300 Miles Worth Of Southern Germany
McLaren GT Capable Of Reaching 60 MPH, Obsolescence Faster Than Rivals
WOKING, UK — Ushering in a brief new era of performance, McLaren confirmed that its new GT supercar will reach 60 mph and complete obsolescence quicker than any of its rivals. We sat down with a spokesperson for details. “It’s quicker to 60 miles an hour than the F1, and the tech features will be rendered totally defunct in as little as one year.” The … Continue reading McLaren GT Capable Of Reaching 60 MPH, Obsolescence Faster Than Rivals
Niki Lauda, “Honestly, unimpressed.” With Heaven Grand Prix Circuit
HEAVEN—According to sources, Niki Lauda is not impressed at all with the quality of the circuit provided to him in heaven. “Turn three is a mess, not fast enough for aero and not slow enough for mechanical grip.” He took off his sunglasses. “It’s bullshit.” God looked at him stunned as they both walked the track. “Your back straight is fine, hard to mess that … Continue reading Niki Lauda, “Honestly, unimpressed.” With Heaven Grand Prix Circuit
