Mitsubishi Says Next Gen Mirage Inspired By That Pile of Disgusting Black Snow On The Shoulder Of The Interstate Still Lingering Thirteen Days After A Blizzard

Mitsubishi went to some dark places when looking for inspiration for the next generation Mirage, says Mitsubishi chief designer Alessandro Dambrosio. B/T had the chance to catch up with Alessandro recently over black coffee and dry toast. His appearance was disheveled with an air of desperate helplessness. When we asked how the new Mirage was coming along, he went on to explain the apathy and … Continue reading Mitsubishi Says Next Gen Mirage Inspired By That Pile of Disgusting Black Snow On The Shoulder Of The Interstate Still Lingering Thirteen Days After A Blizzard

Crusty Subaru EJ Spotted Drinking PBR, Heckling Local Whippersnappers From Front Porch

BURLINGTON– Sources in and around the small city of Burlington, Vermont have recently reported seeing a 2.5 liter EJ harassing other engines from its decrepit front porch. Local police say that although the motor may be disturbing locals with its unusual exhaust note and disruptive antics, it is free to drink on its own property. B/T was on the scene interviewing a four cylinder B48 … Continue reading Crusty Subaru EJ Spotted Drinking PBR, Heckling Local Whippersnappers From Front Porch

Bugatti Unveils New One-Off Hypercar That Should Be A Big Deal But You Couldn’t Give A Shit About

Recently, the results of a focus group hired by Bugatti was leaked to B/T. The content of these leaked documents was interesting, but at the same time unsurprising. “So I’ll never be able to buy it, I’ll only ever see it in pictures, I can’t sit in it, listen to it, or even watch it drive by in passing.” “Why would I care about a … Continue reading Bugatti Unveils New One-Off Hypercar That Should Be A Big Deal But You Couldn’t Give A Shit About

Mclaren CEO Wakes Up In Cold Sweat After Third C8 Corvette Nightmare This Week

“I have sixty grand in my pocket right now to spend on a new car, you’re telling me you can’t do anything for me?” The Mclaren dealership employee began to get nervous. “W-well no. The cheapest car we have is the 540c, and that’s $165,000.” “And that’s SLOWER than the new Corvette to sixty, right? Like, a LOT slower. Like HALF a SECOND slower. Right?” … Continue reading Mclaren CEO Wakes Up In Cold Sweat After Third C8 Corvette Nightmare This Week

Eighteen Stops In A Houston Area School Bus With Fifty-Seven Screaming Children: Chris Harris Drives

Late Thursday night B/T received an anonymous email titled “Chris Harris Bus Review”. The email had no body, only a short video sent as an attachment. We watched it and were amazed at what we saw. The video opened with a shot of a school bus, gradually making its way down a sunny suburban lane. The video then cuts to a view of Chris Harris, … Continue reading Eighteen Stops In A Houston Area School Bus With Fifty-Seven Screaming Children: Chris Harris Drives

Mercedes Introduces Quasi-AMG Trim Level Of Coupe Version Of SUV Variant Of Four-Door Coupe Variety Of Two-Door Coupe Version Of E-Class Sedan

GENEVA — Taking great care to compete in the infinitesimally small market niche, Mercedes announced Friday they will soon unveil an AMG 53 variant of the coupe SUV based on the four-door coupe version of the two-door coupe version of the popular E-Class sedan. “The new model will be called the Mercedes-AMG GCLS 53 Coupe 4Matic Edition One Designo Package,” a spokesperson proudly declared. “It … Continue reading Mercedes Introduces Quasi-AMG Trim Level Of Coupe Version Of SUV Variant Of Four-Door Coupe Variety Of Two-Door Coupe Version Of E-Class Sedan

Toyota To Accept First Born As Down Payment For New Supra

Toyota announced on Tuesday that it will begin accepting first-born children as a down payment for the all-new Z4-based Supra.  “The program will accept only male children of adequate size and weight,” said Ed Laukes, Toyota’s North American VP of Marketing.  “While we are considering accepting female children, the BMI specs would be more stringent.”  “Perhaps we could offer a 2-for-1 deal.”  As expected, the … Continue reading Toyota To Accept First Born As Down Payment For New Supra

Influencer’s Abused McLaren Dreaming Of Storage In Packed Garage Collecting Dust

A YouTuber’s McLaren 720S revealed to us at a local influencer meetup that life isn’t going exactly the way it had planned. This realization came after the removal of its 7th iridescent wrap, which caused the car to question why it had to be sold to this guy, and couldn’t just be collecting dust in a garage somewhere.  Continue reading Influencer’s Abused McLaren Dreaming Of Storage In Packed Garage Collecting Dust

Nissan Hastily Cancels 370Z Roadster After Discovering Production Has Been On AutoPlay Since 2012

FRANKLIN, TN — Scrambling to cease manufacturing of the aging model, Nissan announced at a press conference Saturday that they have canceled their 370Z roadster. The news comes after over a decade of uneventful production. “We had no idea this thing was still being made,” the spokesperson said, still catching his breath from scrambling about Nissan’s headquarters. “It was supposed to be canned after 2012.” … Continue reading Nissan Hastily Cancels 370Z Roadster After Discovering Production Has Been On AutoPlay Since 2012

President Trump Announces Camaro To Be Discontinued Until The McRib Is Back For Good

WASHINGTON– After weeks of speculation, President Trump announced reasoning behind the abrupt end to Camaro production. The news came to the ears of the public in a departing statement on the tarmac outside of Airforce 1. “As you all know, we have been working very hard, very hard… With General Motors, to ensure we can supply enough valuable, important, American jobs, in Detroit.” “The Camaro… … Continue reading President Trump Announces Camaro To Be Discontinued Until The McRib Is Back For Good