Porsche’s Configurator Breaks Time-Space Continuum, Opening New Dimension Where Mitsubishi Cars are Desirable Again

Scientists from CERN have reported that a wormhole to a new dimension of Earth has formed. The release of the 992 generation of Porsche’s iconic 911 GT3 RS has created an infinite number of configurable models, trims, packages, and features, and the universe has correspondingly been blown to bits.

B/T managed to get an exclusive tour of the environment of this new Earth. Pothole-free roads were lined with cars bearing the three pointed diamond, almost entirely in the form of coupes and hatchbacks. The odd American pickup truck or Honda sedan was still present, but Mirages were actually popular in comparison.

One dealer’s lot was filled with 12th generation Lancers and 5th generation Eclipses. We interviewed an excited car shopper who was planning on test driving a new Evolution.

“I’m in the market for a reliable, luxurious, turbocharged wagon,” he said, “and the Evo Wagon ticks all my boxes. I considered the new Cadillac CT6-V Blackwing Wagon, but it’s not nearly as desirable as the Mitsu.” Before we could continue our interview, a Ralliart spec yellow Evo Wagon appeared on the lot, and he proceeded to salivate enough to form a puddle under his shoes.While this dimension shared little in common with Earth, there were a few similarities that we could find. Sitting in the back corner of a lot was an old Corvette, coated in a layer of dust and surrounded by debris. Its windshield bore a sign: 1 of only 241 of its year with black paint and blue coloured brake calipers.

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