Premium Automotive Satire.

End of Production Announced for 2023 Nissan Z as Execs Just Can’t Be Bothered to Make Good Cars Anymore

Nissan has announced the discontinuation of the 2023 Z, according to a report from its headquarters in Yokohama, Japan. The reason? Its legacy no longer aligns with making quality cars, something that was in mortal peril with the new Z.

“We fear the Nissan Z is too exciting to represent the Nissan brand in 2023,” Makoto Uchida said. “Our reputation depends on buyers with bad credit and complete disregard for suggested maintenance intervals, and the Z challenges those ideals irreparably. So we have come to the difficult decision of ending production for the 2024 model year.”

When asked about the future of the Z nameplate, Uchida stated that a successor was within the realm of possibility. “Nissan is changing towards a future where product generations do not run virtually unchanged for 15 years. There is a lot of potential for the Z brand in a packaging that will cater towards the typical Nissan buyer. We are considering a coupe crossover powered by a 1.5L turbocharged mild hybrid powertrain, which will do a good job honouring the sporty heritage of the Z brand.”

In related news, Nissan’s Instagram page has announced a new facelift for the R35 GTR.

Editor’s note: I wrote this a few months before the GTR facelift was announced. Did I call it?

Published by

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: