Pre-Recession GM Wakes Up Hungover After Crazy Night Of Making HHR SS Panel Van

DETROIT—After a rough night of partying, Pre-Recession GM woke up with a splitting headache and an extremely dry mouth. After taking 2 Aspirin and drinking a quart of water, he checked his cellphone. He had dozens of text and picture messages in his inbox. He opened the first text, from Saab. “I fucking can’t believe you. How could you make something that weird and not … Continue reading Pre-Recession GM Wakes Up Hungover After Crazy Night Of Making HHR SS Panel Van

GM Insider Says Executives Treat Cadillac Like, “Your frustrated dad treats a malfunctioning printer”

DETROIT—B/T was at Cadillac headquarters Friday to get information about the new CT6 V. However, the meeting in the small glass conference room veered slightly off topic. “We are upset that the CT6 V is only gonna be limited production,” our host, James said. “But really, we consider ourselves lucky that we were able to do it at-” “You piece of shit!” A voice exclaimed … Continue reading GM Insider Says Executives Treat Cadillac Like, “Your frustrated dad treats a malfunctioning printer”

Former GM CEO Says Getting Saab To Stop Making Unsellable Cars Was, “Like Coughing At A Sleepover To Get Your Friend To Stop Masturbating”

WILMINGTON— B/T was recently granted an interview with former GM CEO Rick Wagoner, and talked with him about what it was like to fully acquire Saab in 2000. “Well you know the Saab guys never really fit in” he said. “Engineers from all of the GM marquees used to eat lunch together in a big cafeteria. Usually there was some good brand diversity. Buick guys … Continue reading Former GM CEO Says Getting Saab To Stop Making Unsellable Cars Was, “Like Coughing At A Sleepover To Get Your Friend To Stop Masturbating”