BMW Introduces Ranch Scented Climate Control Perfume

In a plan to, “Boost sales to really white people” , BMW has released a variety of new scents for the 7 Series perfume system. We happened to be in a showroom when a possible buyer came into the dealership. We eavesdropped on the conversation as the salesman attempted to charm the middle aged man. After a short conversation, they took a seat in a … Continue reading BMW Introduces Ranch Scented Climate Control Perfume

New Porsche Buyer Informs Nobody Of His Purchase

B/T received an email Monday detailing a story from a subscriber who’s close friend bought a Porsche. According the subscriber, his friend bought the brand new vehicle and didn’t tell anybody about it. “My buddy James went down to the dealership a few weeks ago and bought a brand new 911 Targa. He was talking for months about getting one and we went there a few … Continue reading New Porsche Buyer Informs Nobody Of His Purchase

New Study Claims Mustang Owners Turning Off Traction Control Is Riskier Than “Seafood At A Kansas Diner”

NHTSA released a new study Tuesday about the odds of an accident after various sports cars & brands turn off traction control. The results were interesting. “The lowest rate of accidents for any model after traction control was turned off was the Toyota GT86. This was the only sports car we tested to have such low accident rates. After looking into it we realized this … Continue reading New Study Claims Mustang Owners Turning Off Traction Control Is Riskier Than “Seafood At A Kansas Diner”

Tesla Offers Cheapest Model Y With Pile Of Hay For Rear Seats

Tesla released their new $35k Model 3 two weeks ago after months of promising the vehicle. After the company added the vehicle to their website, we received a press release via email concerning the Model Y. The email claims that they have just made a massive innovation in minimalism, inspired by the livestock industry. “For the new base Model Y, we’ve modified the interior to … Continue reading Tesla Offers Cheapest Model Y With Pile Of Hay For Rear Seats

Area Man Executing Perfect Rev-Match Downshifts Suddenly Aware No One Else In The Car Knows What He’s Doing

PARAMUS—Local man Todd Stewart sent us an email Friday recounting an experience he had driving earlier in the week. “I was driving on the parkway towards the Garden State Plaza, with my girlfriend and her friends in the car. They all wanted to go to Bed Bath and Body works or some shit. I just figured I could get cinnamon pretzel. Anyway, I was pulling … Continue reading Area Man Executing Perfect Rev-Match Downshifts Suddenly Aware No One Else In The Car Knows What He’s Doing

Chevrolet Enters Daytona 24 Hours With Hastily Modified ’01 Cavalier

DETROIT—With cost-cutting hitting GM hard, media outlets are saying their motorsports division has been seeing the worst of it. To investigate these claims, we went to Detroit. An engineer looked up from his workbench as we opened the door to the shop. It was freezing cold inside. As we walked in he asked us, “You guys here from the magazine? We nodded. “Yeah well just … Continue reading Chevrolet Enters Daytona 24 Hours With Hastily Modified ’01 Cavalier