In a press release Thursday, Tesla announced that the latest version of autopilot will make it even easier then before to climb into the back seat, and enjoy every season of The Big Bang Theory while speeding down the highway. “With this new update, we give our users the freedom to stretch their legs, crack open a few cold ones, and watch their favorite TV … Continue reading Tesla Says New Autopilot Update Will Make It Even Easier To Watch Every Season Of The Big Bang Theory While Lounging Across The Back Seats On I-95

DEARBORN— In a press release Tuesday, Ford released further details about the new EcoSport Crossover. “The new EcoSport comes equipped with a turbocharged one liter engine. You will notice the Nissan GT-R is also turbocharged.” It says. “Or an optional naturally aspirated two liter engine, which has similar power and torque to a built SR20.” “Both are capable of towing a Saturn V Rocket to … Continue reading Ford Says New EcoSport Crossover Can Comfortably Seat Five, Tow a Saturn V Rocket

DETROIT— In a press release last week, GM announced their reasoning for releasing the new Blazer. The press release is quoted as saying, “In releasing the new Blazer, we finally have the opportunity to market a crossover to middle aged men who used to have a Camaro when they were a teenager, and who’s wife won’t let them buy another.” The new Blazer will be … Continue reading Chevrolet Says They’re Bringing Back The Blazer Name To Milk The Fuck Out Of Anything It Has To Offer

TURIN, ITALY— After a bid by enthusiasts to revive the once legendary Lancia Stratos on the Alfa Romeo 4C platform, the Italian Automobile Conglomerate has made several comments regarding the request. “No.” said a spokesperson when questioned, “Lancia was once a great brand that made people happy and excited, and we simply cant have that.” he continued, “You know what would happen if we did … Continue reading FCA Says Lancia Will Keep Making Lifeless Appliances Until The Brand Learns From Inspiring A Generation Of Enthusiasts