Top Ten Automotive Publications All Agree To Re-brand As, “C8 Corvette Weekly” Until The End Of August

Citing a keen interest in milking every last drop from the hour long C8 Corvette unveiling, the ten largest car magazines in the country have all agreed to change their names to, “C8 Corvette Weekly” until the end of the summer months. We sat down with the editor of a popular automotive journal to get his take. “You ever seen that episode of Man vs … Continue reading Top Ten Automotive Publications All Agree To Re-brand As, “C8 Corvette Weekly” Until The End Of August

Rural Ford Dealerships To Introduce 1200 Month Lease On All New F-Series Pickups

After realizing their 84 month loan options were simply not cutting it, rural Ford dealerships around the country have decided to introduce, “The Centurion”: A 100 year lease intended to appeal to unrealistic trade in values, recent bankruptcy, and credit scores around the customer’s age. We interviewed several sales managers from across the country to get their take. “Well you know a lot of guys … Continue reading Rural Ford Dealerships To Introduce 1200 Month Lease On All New F-Series Pickups

First Half Hour Of C8 Corvette Introduction Meant To Emulate The Vast, Incomprehensible Emptiness Of Space

BOWLING GREEN— After a long, relatively meaningless introduction at the unveiling of the mid-engined C8 Corvette, anonymous sources inside GM have confirmed that the mind numbing spectacle was inspired by the unimaginably massive void of outer space. “We actually wanted to start at the invention of the wheel,” one source said. “Due to a few scheduling issues we had to start late at night instead … Continue reading First Half Hour Of C8 Corvette Introduction Meant To Emulate The Vast, Incomprehensible Emptiness Of Space

Doug DeMuro: I Will Review And DougScore You If You Give Me A Lengthy Piggy Back Ride While Making Car Noises

Doug DeMuro just announced Saturday that in exchange for a lengthy piggy back ride around your neighborhood, he will review your quirks and features and give you a DougScore. A sample video released the same day shows viewers what they can expect from being reviewed by Doug. The scene opens in typical Doug fashion; however, instead of a car, Doug is standing behind a middle … Continue reading Doug DeMuro: I Will Review And DougScore You If You Give Me A Lengthy Piggy Back Ride While Making Car Noises

Alfa Romeo Addresses Guilia Reliability With Flintstone-Inspired Quick Release Floor Pans

AUBURN HILLS— Alfa Romeo has finally announced they will address their new Guilia’s reliability issues in a press conference Thursday. The announcement came after months of complaints pertaining to the dubious dependability of the sports sedan. An apparently Italian representative from Alfa Romeo took to the stage to give the announcement, and answer questions in a thick accent. “Here at Alfa Romeo, we have heard … Continue reading Alfa Romeo Addresses Guilia Reliability With Flintstone-Inspired Quick Release Floor Pans

Fisker Announces Electric SUV For $40k, Implying You May One Day Be Able To Buy It

Fisker Automotive’s namesake Henrik Fisker released teaser images on Thursday for the brand’s new electric SUV. The news comes after the brand was resuscitated in 2014 to the beat of Staying Alive, and millions of Chinese dollars. Along with a teaser image, the designer also announced the purchase price; forty grand. This of course makes the completely safe assumption you may one day be able to … Continue reading Fisker Announces Electric SUV For $40k, Implying You May One Day Be Able To Buy It

FIA Hastily Stashes Gasoline Soaked Tube Socks As Vettel Storms Into Race Control Office

MONTRÉAL—Following his controversial penalty Sunday, Sebastian Vettel stormed into FIA race control to make an attempt at appealing the decision. He did not expect what he found in the small office. Anonymous sources at the scene tell us that Vettel came upon all of the stewards huffing Ferrari’s race fuel from drenched tube socks. Sources say that when confronted with their abuse of the fuel, … Continue reading FIA Hastily Stashes Gasoline Soaked Tube Socks As Vettel Storms Into Race Control Office