Crusty Subaru EJ Spotted Drinking PBR, Heckling Local Whippersnappers From Front Porch

BURLINGTON– Sources in and around the small city of Burlington, Vermont have recently reported seeing a 2.5 liter EJ harassing other engines from its decrepit front porch. Local police say that although the motor may be disturbing locals with its unusual exhaust note and disruptive antics, it is free to drink on its own property. B/T was on the scene interviewing a four cylinder B48 … Continue reading Crusty Subaru EJ Spotted Drinking PBR, Heckling Local Whippersnappers From Front Porch

Bugatti Unveils New One-Off Hypercar That Should Be A Big Deal But You Couldn’t Give A Shit About

Recently, the results of a focus group hired by Bugatti was leaked to B/T. The content of these leaked documents was interesting, but at the same time unsurprising. “So I’ll never be able to buy it, I’ll only ever see it in pictures, I can’t sit in it, listen to it, or even watch it drive by in passing.” “Why would I care about a … Continue reading Bugatti Unveils New One-Off Hypercar That Should Be A Big Deal But You Couldn’t Give A Shit About

Mclaren CEO Wakes Up In Cold Sweat After Third C8 Corvette Nightmare This Week

“I have sixty grand in my pocket right now to spend on a new car, you’re telling me you can’t do anything for me?” The Mclaren dealership employee began to get nervous. “W-well no. The cheapest car we have is the 540c, and that’s $165,000.” “And that’s SLOWER than the new Corvette to sixty, right? Like, a LOT slower. Like HALF a SECOND slower. Right?” … Continue reading Mclaren CEO Wakes Up In Cold Sweat After Third C8 Corvette Nightmare This Week

Eighteen Stops In A Houston Area School Bus With Fifty-Seven Screaming Children: Chris Harris Drives

Late Thursday night B/T received an anonymous email titled “Chris Harris Bus Review”. The email had no body, only a short video sent as an attachment. We watched it and were amazed at what we saw. The video opened with a shot of a school bus, gradually making its way down a sunny suburban lane. The video then cuts to a view of Chris Harris, … Continue reading Eighteen Stops In A Houston Area School Bus With Fifty-Seven Screaming Children: Chris Harris Drives

President Trump Announces Camaro To Be Discontinued Until The McRib Is Back For Good

WASHINGTON– After weeks of speculation, President Trump announced reasoning behind the abrupt end to Camaro production. The news came to the ears of the public in a departing statement on the tarmac outside of Airforce 1. “As you all know, we have been working very hard, very hard… With General Motors, to ensure we can supply enough valuable, important, American jobs, in Detroit.” “The Camaro… … Continue reading President Trump Announces Camaro To Be Discontinued Until The McRib Is Back For Good

Chevrolet Announces C8 Corvette ‘Boomer Package’ With No Engine Or Transmission

DETROIT, MI — Catering to the demands of its consumer base, Chevrolet announced Tuesday that the upcoming C8 Corvette will be available with a ‘Boomer Package,’ which removes the vehicle’s engine and transmission entirely. The C8’s mid-engine layout has sparked outrage among the Corvette’s older customers. Some have expressed further disappointment about the lack of an available manual transmission. “We believe this is the best … Continue reading Chevrolet Announces C8 Corvette ‘Boomer Package’ With No Engine Or Transmission

Top Ten Automotive Publications All Agree To Re-brand As, “C8 Corvette Weekly” Until The End Of August

Citing a keen interest in milking every last drop from the hour long C8 Corvette unveiling, the ten largest car magazines in the country have all agreed to change their names to, “C8 Corvette Weekly” until the end of the summer months. We sat down with the editor of a popular automotive journal to get his take. “You ever seen that episode of Man vs … Continue reading Top Ten Automotive Publications All Agree To Re-brand As, “C8 Corvette Weekly” Until The End Of August

Rural Ford Dealerships To Introduce 1200 Month Lease On All New F-Series Pickups

After realizing their 84 month loan options were simply not cutting it, rural Ford dealerships around the country have decided to introduce, “The Centurion”: A 100 year lease intended to appeal to unrealistic trade in values, recent bankruptcy, and credit scores around the customer’s age. We interviewed several sales managers from across the country to get their take. “Well you know a lot of guys … Continue reading Rural Ford Dealerships To Introduce 1200 Month Lease On All New F-Series Pickups

First Half Hour Of C8 Corvette Introduction Meant To Emulate The Vast, Incomprehensible Emptiness Of Space

BOWLING GREEN— After a long, relatively meaningless introduction at the unveiling of the mid-engined C8 Corvette, anonymous sources inside GM have confirmed that the mind numbing spectacle was inspired by the unimaginably massive void of outer space. “We actually wanted to start at the invention of the wheel,” one source said. “Due to a few scheduling issues we had to start late at night instead … Continue reading First Half Hour Of C8 Corvette Introduction Meant To Emulate The Vast, Incomprehensible Emptiness Of Space

Doug DeMuro: I Will Review And DougScore You If You Give Me A Lengthy Piggy Back Ride While Making Car Noises

Doug DeMuro just announced Saturday that in exchange for a lengthy piggy back ride around your neighborhood, he will review your quirks and features and give you a DougScore. A sample video released the same day shows viewers what they can expect from being reviewed by Doug. The scene opens in typical Doug fashion; however, instead of a car, Doug is standing behind a middle … Continue reading Doug DeMuro: I Will Review And DougScore You If You Give Me A Lengthy Piggy Back Ride While Making Car Noises