G/O Media, Jalopnik’s parent company, was in a state of confusion and panic early Monday morning as the latest edition of Jason Torchinksy’s “Jason Drives” was released on Youtube. The episode is a review of what appeared to be G/O Media CEO Jim Spanfeller’s own Lexus LS500. Although reports could initially not confirm whether or not the vehicle was actually Spanfeller’s, a sticky note saying … Continue reading G/O Media Alarmed as Latest ‘Jason Drives’ Reviews Jim Spanfeller’s Personal LS500

Presidential hopeful and U.S. Senator Elizabeth Warren saw a spike in her support late Tuesday evening after promising the American public that the Suzuki Jimny will come to the United States on Twitter. This pledge comes after months of pressure from countless members of the automotive community, who insist they have twenty thousand dollars burning a hole in their pocket. Although the announcement may seem … Continue reading Elizabeth Warren Surges In Polls After Pledging to Import Suzuki Jimny

Expanding their offerings of high-end experiences, super-luxury automaker Rolls Royce has recently announced plans for an, “All inclusive people-hunting expedition in the heart of the African continent.” The German marque says the trip is only for those who have bought a Dawn, or are in the process of purchasing one. The brand claims plans for these trips come after inquiries from current owners, who said … Continue reading Rolls Royce Offers All Inclusive “Human Safari in the Congo” With Purchase of New Dawn Convertible

NUTLEY, NJ– In a take hotter than the surface of the sun, senior forum member Dean Matthews assured a packed press pool early Tuesday morning that the new GT500 was either the greatest car ever made, or complete junk. After having praise heaped upon him for his post’s god-like prose and diction, he demanded the press cease requesting autographs, and be seated on the sidewalk … Continue reading Senior Forum Member Assures Public 2020 GT500 Is Either Best Car Ever or Fucking Scrap

VENICE BEACH–Trying to remember if Matt Farah lives around here, tourist Frank Morrow was struggling early Tuesday morning to get close enough to a red Lamborghini Countach, attempting to surmise whether the driver was indeed Matt Farah. “It doesn’t have the ugly side skirts.. I remember he said that on Twitter…” Morrow muttered to himself. “Just a little closer” He stared at the red Countach … Continue reading Local Enthusiast Unsure If Driver of Red Countach Matt Farah or Just Some Bald Guy

Capitalizing on a demand from their consumer demographic, Volkswagen announced late Monday evening they would be adding a “Pumpkin Spice” package to the 2020 Jetta. The new trim level comes after VW previously canceled plans for a “Summer Vibes” Jetta, sponsored by Whiteclaw alcoholic seltzer. In a press release, the German automaker cited early success with focus groups as their motivation behind green-lighting the car. … Continue reading Volkswagen Unveils Pumpkin Spice Jetta