GM Botches Hummer EV Launch and Makes Something Actually Desirable

DETROIT — Mishandling yet another new product reveal, General Motors reportedly botched the unveiling of the new Hummer EV on Tuesday evening. Unveiling what critics are referring to as a “product people actually desire and want to purchase,” the Detroit automaker says they will avoid mistakes like this in the future.

“With so many dorky electric cars on the market like the Tesla Model Y, we wanted to compete in that space,” said GM’s fourteen million marketing strategists in unison. “We figured reviving the Hummer nameplate would be a perfect way to accomplish that goal.”

Many recent GM product launches have been met with lukewarm response from both automotive journalists and consumers alike. GM’s strategists say this, “makes them feel warm inside” and “reminds us of The Before Times.”

The marketers reportedly believed a $112,000 electric Hummer product would be met with ridicule, and were shocked when potential buyers showed a modicum of interest. One of the brains behind the project, who wished to remain anonymous, offered some insider details.

“We all secretly hoped this thing would fail so they didn’t try to make us come up with more exciting products,” the source said. “We figured an electric convertible Hummer-branded Warthog for over a hundred grand would be the nail in the coffin.”

At press time, rumors persisted Chevrolet would revive the Bel Air as a subcompact crossover.

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