BMW M3 Touring Denied Entry into U.S. Due to Lack of Face Covering

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Forced to lock down in its home market, the newly announced BMW M3 Touring was recently denied entry into the United States for its failure to sufficiently cover its front fascia.

“This has nothing to do with the pandemic,” said a United States ambassador. “We don’t want to look at it.”

The announcement has been met with disappointment among tens of enthusiasts, who were in the market for a new high-performance, compact, luxury station wagon.

BMW has stated rather firmly that they do not believe in shielding faces with any sort of covering.

“The cars need to be able to breathe,” a BMW representative insisted. “No portion of the air intake mechanism is to be obstructed. Except the entire thing when the slats are closed.”

Enthusiast groups have begun to organize protests demanding the release of the M3 Touring to the United States market. Early reports indicate they have collectively raised nearly half the necessary funds for a down payment.

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