Scientists Struggle to Find Missing Link in Evolutionary Chain Between Nissan IDX Concept, Everything They Actually Make

Perplexed by a gaping hole in the evolutionary tree, scientists worldwide are reportedly struggling to find the missing link between the Nissan IDx concept car from 2013 and everything the automaker currently sells a mere seven years later.

“The models of today exhibit a massive departure from the traits of the IDx,” said a researcher, staring intently at a test tube. “We have proposed many different explanations for how this occurred. The current hypothesis suggests significant genetic mutation.”

Scientists all over the globe have expended massive amounts of energy and funding into this project, claiming the missing link could explain such long-unsolved mysteries as how the Jaguar XJ220 lost six of its twelve cylinders from conception to production.

“We’ve never seen such a drastic change in a model’s characteristics in such a short time — let alone an entire lineup,” he continued. “What was once a swift hunter became a lumbering behemoth, a stealthy, sly predator transformed into a hefty lug.”

Today’s production Nissans deviate in many ways from the IDx concept, such as increased body mass, decreased agility, and a less subdued, more threatening body and face. The appearance is theorized to be a defense mechanism, as the models do not appear to exhibit any aggressive or athletic characteristics.

Alarmingly, the models appear to be multiplying at an unchecked rate, with some models even appearing to create hybrids with other manufacturers. The freakish Infiniti QX30, which was jointly developed with Mercedes, was killed off when maternal instincts took over.

The researchers have indicated the Infiniti Q60 Red Sport is their most promising lead in the search for the missing piece, but they were doubtful it would be the answer.

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