“Just give them the GR Corolla so they shut up about the Yaris.” Says Disheveled Toyota Executive, Muting Himself on Zoom to Yell at His Children

“Bobby can you shut the fuck up? Daddy is on a call right now!”

There was a brief silence in the Zoom call as everyone in the meeting waited for somebody to speak up and tell the tired executive that he was not muted.

“Hey uhh… Gary, you gotta mute yourself when you say stuff like that.” said another Toyota employee, senior to Gary.

“Oh, I’m sorry. That’s my bad. I have to mute myself? What do you mean? Where’s that button?”

After finding the mute button, the meeting continued. The unshaven, disheveled executive laid out his plan to appease Toyota’s enthusiast audience with a slideshow. The opening slide was a picture of the new GR Corolla hatch.

“So we lied about the Yaris. So what. Let’s just give them the Corolla hatch with the same motor.”

There was another brief pause as the other executives realized there were no other slides in the deck.

“That’s the whole plan?” responded a senior product planner.

“Yeah. I mean we can-” the sound of a child screaming erupted in the background as Gary frantically searched for his mute button. He found it and turned around, yelling at his children to leave the room. After getting up to escort his children out the door he sat back down, looking even more exhausted than before.

“Yeah that’s the whole plan.”

One thought on ““Just give them the GR Corolla so they shut up about the Yaris.” Says Disheveled Toyota Executive, Muting Himself on Zoom to Yell at His Children

  1. Nailed it. I have a 5YO I’m trying to teach while simultaneously maintaining my 40hr+ work week. I’m going F****** insane. Also pissed we aren’t getting the GR yaris, pissed that we are getting the GR corolla, and likely a CUV variant; insult to injury. Unless they make the corolla entirely out of aluminum and carbon fiber to get it down to yaris GR weight, Toyota can stuff it violently up their Gazoo; I’ll help.

    Like

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