Report: Auto News Still Not as Slow as That Time a C8 Corvette’s Wheels Getting Stolen Was a Big Fucking Deal

Remembering that news could only get slower, we received an email from an anonymous auto journalist late Tuesday evening. The email, titled “it has been worse before” brought us back to a time when a C8 Corvette’s wheels being stolen in Detroit was covered at length by several automotive publications.

“You guys remember that? Feels like years ago.” the anonymous journalist told us, recounting a time before all we could do was delete beers and scroll through social media until absolutely everything had been seen.

“I mean, the Veloster N getting a new transmission isn’t much, but at least we haven’t hit rock bottom yet.”

The journalist also mentioned various other small news items that have been occurring over the past several weeks, such as the new cannonball record set by a group of iPad-abusing simpletons.

“I mean past the whole possibly spreading a pandemic thing, did you see how they taped that iPad to the seat? Looked like they told a blindfolded toddler to do it.”

“That was really the worst part of the whole story.”

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