FIA to Replace Spectator-less French GP Grandstands with Hundred of Windmills to Appease Lewis Hamilton’s Love of the Fans

LE CASTELLET, FRANCE–Following news the French Grand Prix may be the first to take place in the wake of the global COVID-19 pandemic (albeit without an audience), the FIA has announced plans to erect hundreds of windmills in place of the usual human spectators at Circuit Paul Ricard. With the addition of these huge fans, the FIA hopes to coax the defending world champion into racing without a live audience.

“We know Lewis loves the fans a lot, and we’re worried that without them cheering him on from the sidelines he may not show up.” an FIA representative told the press.

“We thought of several ways to solve this. Our first idea was a 90,000 person ZOOM call. After we had trouble figuring out how to get our microphone to work, we had to give up on that one.”

The FIA told us they played around with several other ideas, unrelated to video calls. One of them involved placing a camera in every spectator’s seat, while others were as simple as televising the event.

“We really wanted Lewis to have his fans, though. After some emails with Max Verstappen, he sent us plans for the sort of windmills he likes to build. We have gathered all of the necessary materials to erect them at the upcoming race.”

Despite the global situation gradually improving, the future is still uncertain. We asked the FIA what would they would do with those materials if it turned out the French GP would not happen after all.

“We can setup these fans anywhere. If the first race is in Austria or England, we will just send the windmill materials there. It is of the upmost importance that Lewis’ radio messages stay consistent during this trying time.”

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