Australian GP Sponsors, Organizers Curious About This “Value of Human Life” Concept

MELBOURNE–“So that means we can like, sell people? For money?” asked an audience member, standing up from the gathered crowd of sponsors and organizers at the Australian Grand Prix.

“No,” responded an Italian FIA representative, “It means that people have value, you know? Like uhh… Beyond just the cash. Like you enjoy their personality, or they’re your wife, or something!”

The assembled group was puzzled at this response.

“You like your wives, correct? You think it is nice living with them?”

A portly Australian audience members raised his hand.

“None of those attendees are my wife, mate. I don’t know any of them!” he exclaimed. Several other sponsors applauded and agreed with this statement.

The FIA representative looked frustrated.

“Right–yes. If one of them was your wife, though. You wouldn’t want your wife to get this virus.”

The group once again seemed a little confused. Human life…had non-monetary value. This was something they were still mulling over in their heads. The FIA rep continued to speak.

“If the whole audience was just your wife. Imagine that. Thousands of wives–tens of thousands. You would rather have them safe than the money, right?”

The group perked up visibly at the mention of money.

“Thousands of my wife?” asked the same Aussie organizer.

“Yes. Imagine every audience members is your wife.”

The sponsor considered this notion carefully.

“One Nancy is enough, mate. What I want is one of those new ‘Vettes, with the engine in the middle. Forget ten-thousand Nancys. When’s this race gonna kick-off?”

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