Tesla Unveils First Flying Production Car After Elon Musk Jumps Model X off Sick Plywood Ramp He Built with Neighborhood Kids

PALO ALTO, CALIFORNIA–Beating other automakers to the punch on the first mass-produced flying car, Elon Musk revealed Tesla’s first stab at aviation in a poorly-shot vertical video posted to Tesla’s website early Tuesday afternoon. The film appears to show a Model X being taken off a crudely constructed ramp at very high speeds. The video has since been taken down, however we have received a summary from a vigilant subscriber.

“Tommy get more bricks!” yells Musk, dragging a decaying piece of plywood out from under one of his companion’s homes. The video changes to a shot of Tommy–carrying four bricks in his dirty T-shirt like eggs in a basket.

The camera then pans to a view of the street, where other young children can be seen drawing out markings in chalk. Our subscriber notes that he believes these are meant to help guide Musk to a safe landing; much like markings on a runway.

“No, stack them like this!” Musk says, dragging the plywood into the street before correcting Tommy’s insufficient masonry work. The group continues building their ramp until they run out of materials. They then spend a few minutes wandering around the neighborhood searching for more bricks.

We noticed a brief cut is made in the forty minute video around halfway through. This was not explained by our source, but based on the grape jelly residue around Musk’s mouth after this break in the film, we assume it was for snack time. This theory is further reinforced by the entrepreneur’s later complaints concerning the quantity of crust he had to remove from his meal.

After another sheet of plywood is procured, the ramp begins to take shape in the center of the street. The test seems to be imminent when the word, “Car!” is yelled by a child off-screen. The jump is then hastily disassembled before being put back together a few moments later.

After a few final preparations are made, Musk lines up a Model X at the end of the street. The other children are hooting and hollering for him to floor it. Musk seems nervous in the driver’s seat however, only putting his foot over the accelerator pedal after Tommy triple-dog-dares him.

After a few thoughts concerning how this will certainly increase his standing with Stacy in Social Studies class, he buckles on his bicycle helmet and puts the car into drive. He closes his eyes, and stomps his foot down on the pedal.

The video records the egg-shaped car rocketing towards the ramp, Musk wide-eyed behind the wheel. The vehicle then hits the ramp, plowing straight through it. The car briefly becomes airborne as bricks and pieces of shattered plywood are forced under the wheels. A slow-mo replay of all four wheels briefly leaving the ground is repeated several times to prove this fact.

The film then cuts to a scene of Musk and the other boys in a tree house. They are discussing the merits of their ramp system to the camera when a loud bang is heard. They rush to the window as another loud thump causes all of them to flinch.

“David stop throwing that! There’s a bees nest in the tree!”

Unintelligible yelling is heard, with the boys clearly not satisfied with the received message. After a few more complaints, the object (it sounded like a baseball) strikes the tree house for a final time. A faint buzzing is heard as bees begin to reveal themselves from cracks in the house’s wooden construction.

“AHHHH!” the boys yell, running to the door.

“GET THE ROPE LADDER COME ON!”

The camera is then knocked over, and the video ends.

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