“I real’ like the EVs, George” Says GM, Aggressively Petting Cadillac

“Why don’ we have Cadillac make the EVs?” GM asked their board, seeming very much like Lenny from Of Mice and Men

“Well, do you remember the ELR? There was nothing good about that car. Not even the marketing campaign.”

GM continued petting Cadillac, which was sitting uncomfortably on its lap, waiting for an opportune moment to escape. GM stared at the luxury brand and stroked it heavily for a few moments before responding.

“The EVs’ so soft though. Jus’ wanna put one in my lineup so I can feel it all the time.”

The members of GM’s board looked on as Cadillac tried to scramble away, but was restrained.

“Yeah. We get that you want an EV. We want an EV, too. Is Cadillac the best brand to make it, though? You can’t seem to decide what they are.”

Cadillac’s ears perked up and it looked at the board with wide eyes, excited at the prospect of having a purpose.

GM continued to drag its hand over Cadillac, the brand struggling under the pressure.

“I thinkn’ we should settle down in the country, have our own place. Get a whole big factory n’ make as many EVs as we can.”

The board looked on in discomfort as GM pet Cadillac with increasing vigor.

“Okay… Just make the platform for an EV. We can decide what brand it goes under later.”

Cadillac seemed relieved at this decision, and it scrambled away as GM released its grip. GM smiled, content with the decision.

“Okay, George.”

The board stared back at GM in silence for a moment before a member spoke up.

“Who is George?”

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