LOS ANGELES– Surprising everybody and absolutely nobody at the same time, Tesla unveiled their new “Cybertruck” Thursday night and announced they would be taking $100 reservations. This seemed appropriate for the California company, who has previously been known to partake in selling things that may or may not actually exist.
When we asked Elon Musk for comment about shaping their vehicle like a pyramid, he told us he must leave, and would not be answering questions. Allegedly, the tiny car taking him and 30 of his friends back home had just arrived.
Instead, a Tesla spokesperson gave us the details.
“See, if you put down a $100 reservation, you get a Cybertruck sooner. If you get three of your friends to also reserve one, and they list you as the referral, you get even higher up the list. If three of their friends list them as referrals? You could be the first guy to get one.”
When we told him that this seemed like a pyramid scheme, he insisted it was not.
“These are multi-level reservations. Not even close to the same thing.”
At this point the spokesperson also claimed he had to go. After giving us his business card, Mr. Barnum received his unicycle from the corner of the event center and pedaled away.
After pushing past several soliciting Tesla employees (who reminded us of the fake monks giving away funny baseball cards on the Highline in New York), we finally made it out of the show without purchasing any sketchy makeup, steak knives, or essential oils.