PLYMOUTH, MICHIGAN–Citing the simultaneous relieved exhalations of more than a thousand Rivian employees, the National Weather Service claims to have recorded a slight increase in the barometric pressure around Plymouth, Michigan on Thursday evening. The massive sigh occurred after Tesla’s Cybertruck was apparently designed by Musk himself, in the dark, on a cocktail napkin, with a baby carrot dipped in thousand island dressing.
Rivian, who has yet to release a vehicle for sale, is likely to be one of Tesla’s biggest competitors. The company has recently received a huge cash influx from Amazon, who plans to order a hundred thousand delivery vans from the automaker.
Jeff Bezos was ecstatic about the Cybertruck’s controversial design, indicating he was relieved in an interview Friday afternoon.
“I think I might just give my employees heath insurance!” said Bezos, excited.
Bezos was also entertained by Musk shattering his trucks windows in front of a live audience, claiming, “Shit like that is why I do not go out in public.”
Concluding their report, the NWS explained the slight increase in pressure had some other unexpected consequences. It apparently deterred an incoming storm which was instead redirected to Tesla’s stock price.