SAN ANTONIO, TX — Spontaneously appearing from an infinitely bright ball of light and electricity, a human-machine hybrid reportedly arrived yesterday from three decades in the future with grim news that the Toyota Tundra still had yet to undergo a redesign.
“He just appeared out of nowhere.” a witness said, trembling. “He was butt-naked.”
The witness said the cyborg approached him and demanded to know the date.
“I told him the date,” the witness said. “He looked relieved, let me go, and ran away.”
The witness then called the police department, who were able to apprehend the cyborg without incident. The cyborg told police it had come with crucial information about the future and gave instructions for access.
“We have contacted NASA and they are sending experts immediately,” the chief of police said in a press conference.
A team of scientists took several hours to analyze the data the cyborg had recorded. Once they gained access, they quickly discovered the photographs in the cyborg’s hard drive.
“Holy shit,” one researcher said. “This is a breakthrough, a glimpse into the future.”
Time stamps on the photos indicate they were taken in the year 2056, in San Antonio near Toyota’s U.S. manufacturing plant.
Further analysis revealed the photographs depicted the 2056 Toyota Tundra, confirming the pickup still uses its basic design from 2007.
“It remains a mystery what the new Tundra will look like once it is redesigned,” a NASA spokesperson announced. “The cyborg was not equipped to travel far enough into the future to answer this great question.”
Once it is redesigned, it is unclear whether the Tundra will ride on a new platform or existing architecture.