Rolls Royce Offers All Inclusive “Human Safari in the Congo” With Purchase of New Dawn Convertible

Expanding their offerings of high-end experiences, super-luxury automaker Rolls Royce has recently announced plans for an, “All inclusive people-hunting expedition in the heart of the African continent.” The German marque says the trip is only for those who have bought a Dawn, or are in the process of purchasing one.

A portion of the brochure Rolls-Royce released to promote the safari.

The brand claims plans for these trips come after inquiries from current owners, who said they wanted a once in a lifetime experience in their ‘Rolls. The safari takes places in the Okapi wildlife reserve, west of the border with Uganda.

Accessories included with the package.

As well as offering first class airfare, the package includes an old-timey English servant sporting a bowler hat who will reload for you between shots. The German brand also commented that he will strictly refer to you with the titles ‘Master’ or ‘Lord’ preceding your surname. Also included is a set of high-power binoculars to spot targets and, “See the life drain from your helpless victim’s eyes.”

Greater detail of the Rolls’ advanced tracking features were highlighted later in the brochure.

The trips do not begin until next year, however a list of those who may be attending has leaked to the public. The names include Mark Zuckerberg (obviously), both of the President’s sons, the ghost of David Koch, and celebrity chef Guy Fieri.

Although initially met with protests from Interpol, the Democratic Republic of the Congo, and the United Nations, Rolls-Royce claims they have resolved these issues with, “Copious flagrant bribes.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s