AUBURN HILLS– Having suddenly decided against attending the expensive catered press event put up by Dodge, rogue employees at the Detroit automaker announced Monday on Twitter that they planned on moving the event to a local Chili’s.
Although it was initially unclear whether this event was officially sanctioned, the hijacked Twitter account quickly made that both very clear and completely irrelevant.
Sources at the scene reported that by midnight the party was quickly getting out of hand. The press car was totaled in the parking lot, it’s rear tires worn down to the rims. Indoors the situation was not much better. One of our sources said a brief fight erupted when it was announced Vin Diesel would not be attending.
In response to this PR nightmare, FCA released the following statement via Twitter:
Local police arrived at the scene shortly before 1:00 AM, but refused to enter the Chili’s without support from the National Guard. The party became even rowdier after an attendee was able to play Dodge’s now decade old “Freedom” commercial over the restaurant’s televisions.
The event was only broken up when a beleaguered David Freiburger exited the restaurant, assuring the local police that, “Everything is cool!”