Alfa Spokesperson: Reliability Inspired By Drunk Friend Who Claims They’re Down For Breakfast In The Morning

TURIN– In an effort to clear up concerns about the reliability of their cars, Alfa Romeo recently held another press conference to address the issue. Bald Tires was on the scene to cover what transpired.

“What is the most exciting thing in life?” This questions boomed through the microphone in broken English to a crowd of journalists, clutching their smartphones while live tweeting the event.

The presenter flailed his arms and affirmed, “Excitement is unpredictability.” Then in a hushed tone he asked, “what is the most unpredictable thing in the universe?”

A journalist among the crowd placed down his phone, and yelled “ A drunk person!” Chuckles filled the room until the presenter who was struck with glee hissed, “exactly.”

“Our cars,” he continued, “are just like a night out with a drunk friend.” The presenter explained,  “There are moments of fun, some of deep sadness, and moments of indulgence.”

“This is life, and this is Alfa Romeo.

“When you and your drunk friend plan to get breakfast the next morning, nobody knows what will happen. But when they pull through and actually text you, that is excitement, and that is our mission.”

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