Top Ten Automotive Publications All Agree To Re-brand As, “C8 Corvette Weekly” Until The End Of August

Citing a keen interest in milking every last drop from the hour long C8 Corvette unveiling, the ten largest car magazines in the country have all agreed to change their names to, “C8 Corvette Weekly” until the end of the summer months. We sat down with the editor of a popular automotive journal to get his take.

“You ever seen that episode of Man vs Wild where hes real thirsty in the desert, so he decides to get some water by squeezing every last drop he can out of a piece of Elephant shit?”

We nodded.

“That’s pretty much our mission until September.”

A staff writer then came into the room, panting.

“The rear tail light has 23 LEDs!”

“Get me 500 words on that!”

The writer then jolted out of the room as our host turned back to us.

“We could write about this, or we could write about how the new Grand Cherokee is going to have cup holders that are now 17mm larger in diameter.”

We slowly began to understand and tried to ask another question, but our host interrupted.

“You ever get super drunk and are really desperate for a cigarette, so you bum one off of a diabetic homeless guy in exchange for a stick of gum in your pocket you later realize is sugarless?”

We shook our heads.

“We’ll we’re smoking that thing down to the fucking filter.”

As we left the interview we could see men and women with microscopes pouring over the press images Chevrolet had released at the launch. A junior editor called out, “For god sakes, somebody find out what the 5th gear ratio is! I can get 400 words from that!”

 

 

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