Rural Ford Dealerships To Introduce 1200 Month Lease On All New F-Series Pickups

After realizing their 84 month loan options were simply not cutting it, rural Ford dealerships around the country have decided to introduce, “The Centurion”: A 100 year lease intended to appeal to unrealistic trade in values, recent bankruptcy, and credit scores around the customer’s age. We interviewed several sales managers from across the country to get their take.

“Well you know a lot of guys may not have great credit, but they assure us that they just picked up a great new gig in the next town over. Gonna come into a lot of cash soon.”

“Now ask yourself, why would a fella go around and lie about something like that?”

Another dealer representative from outside Minneapolis had similar things to say.

“You know life expectancies are constantly on the rise, and these trucks are built Ford tough! Should have no problem keeping these things going with the twenty-thousand mile oil intervals our customers like.”

We scheduled a meeting with another sales rep outside Austin, Texas, but our meeting was cut short when a customer entered the dealership. A man wandered in wearing a flat brimmed cap backwards down to his eyebrows, and Oakleys that seemed to cover most of his face.

“I’m here for the cinnamon deal!” he said to the entire room, as our host jumped to his feet.

“Yes sir! Right this way sir!”

He shooed us away from his desk, and we took a seat in a not-so-distant Eco-Sport to eavesdrop.

“Before we start sir, can I offer you an ice cold Monster? Or a Dew Kickstart?”

“Yeah, Sure!”

The conversation went on for a long time, and the man pointed outside to his 99′ Silverado with rust for fenders several times.

“KBB says ten grand, could we take that off list?”

As we were sitting we overheard another salesman with a female customer discussing Mary Kay. He then pointed at the Eco-Sport we were sitting in, continuing to talk.

“Bankruptcy?” the salesman asked the woman, astonished she would bring that up.

“Well hey, everybody makes mistakes, Martha!”

After a beat the sales manager walked over, and informed us the car had just been sold.

As we were leaving we glanced over at the man attempting to buy the pickup truck, to see the sales manager and the customer high-fiving after deciding to go with the King Ranch trim level.

“This truck is dope!”

“Will no money down work?”

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