HEAVEN—According to sources, Niki Lauda is not impressed at all with the quality of the circuit provided to him in heaven.
“Turn three is a mess, not fast enough for aero and not slow enough for mechanical grip.”
He took off his sunglasses.
God looked at him stunned as they both walked the track.
“Your back straight is fine, hard to mess that up. Your corner at the end of it. Sixteen? Far too broad. There is no consequence for your mistake in this corner.”
Niki stopped as he rounded the final corner onto the main straight.
“You see this would be OK on earth. This is about as good as Spain. Not saying much.”
God could still not quite believe what he was hearing.
Niki paused for a moment, not believing a track in heaven could be this bad.
“But this track… It is like it was designed by some asshole.”
“On a short schedule.”
He paused again and gestured at God with his sunglasses.
“Why was this made? Are we short on time?”