BMW Introduces Ranch Scented Climate Control Perfume

In a plan to, “Boost sales to really white people” , BMW has released a variety of new scents for the 7 Series perfume system. We happened to be in a showroom when a possible buyer came into the dealership. We eavesdropped on the conversation as the salesman attempted to charm the middle aged man.

After a short conversation, they took a seat in a beige-colored sedan. “This car also has our new perfume diffuser in the climate system.” The salesman opened a menu in the car’s navigation screen and turned on the perfume. Immediately a milky scent wafted through the vehicle.

The man’s nostrils flared as he smelled the vehicles cabin.

“Wow, what is that?”

“It’s Hidden Valley Ranch.”


“That smells amazing.”

The man grabbed the navigation controller and began to swipe through the other perfumes.

His eyes widened as he scrolled though the options.

“Wow, what is that one? A little too much mayonnaise?”

A bead of sweat rolled down his forehead.

“Beeswax candles at a local farmers market?”

The salesman gave the man a blindfold and reached for the controller on the center console, “Here, put this on.”

The man covered his eyes as the salesmen scrolled through the other aromas.

“Can you guess this one?”

He sniffed the air as the scent diffused through the car.

“Hard boiled egg!”

“You got it!”

The salesman scrolled down a little further. “Here, one more.”

The scent once again filled the vehicle.

The expression on the man’s face changed from joy to confusion.

“Is that spicy chicken sandwich from Chick-fil-a?”

“Yes it is!”

The man lifted the fabric from his eyes and scrolled back to hard boiled egg.

“Yeah I don’t know about that one. That’s about my limit.”

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