New Study Claims Mustang Owners Turning Off Traction Control Is Riskier Than “Seafood At A Kansas Diner”

NHTSA released a new study Tuesday about the odds of an accident after various sports cars & brands turn off traction control. The results were interesting.

“The lowest rate of accidents for any model after traction control was turned off was the Toyota GT86. This was the only sports car we tested to have such low accident rates. After looking into it we realized this was because it doesn’t actually have enough power to spin the wheels.”

Other low accident rates included the Porsche 911, “All of the owners are too old or scared to turn it off”, the Mazda Miata, “Same reason as the GT86”, and the Volkswagen Golf GTI because, “Front wheel drive ruins fun, crushes the human spirit, and it isn’t right.”

High accident rates were reasonably predictable.

“The highest rates of accidents came from the budget pony car segment, but there were some exceptions.”

“In third place was the BMW 330i. The highest rate of accidents occurred with college-age drivers wearing boat shoes. The number increased when sorority girls were in the vicinity.”

Surprisingly, the Mustang was only number two.

“Any variant of the Ford Mustang, but especially the V6, is involved in a large quantity of accidents once TC is turned off. GTs come in a close second, but more younger people buy the V6.”

“If you’re a young person and you buy a V6 Mustang, you are as likely to wreck it as you are to get the shits from shrimp scampi at a Diner in Kansas.”

“Number one is the Subaru WRX.”

“We could only speculate on the reason why, but our general consensus was that mudflaps and a muffler don’t actually make you a rally driver.”

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