LOS ANGELES— An automotive journalist from Motortrend is seated at his desk, writing up his road test of the new Kia Rio.
As he finishes entering the cars specifications, he pauses. ‘How can I explain this?’ He thinks to himself. He rolls back from his keyboard and stares into space. He then rolls forward again.
“The new Rio for 2019 is a nice car for the price, it has great standard equipment, the automatic transmission is more than satisfactory…”
He once again rolls backwards and thinks to himself.
“great standard equipment, transmission is satisfactory…”
He rolls forward,
“Great standard equipment, a more than satisfactory transmission, and a nice little car to whip around recklessly.”
‘I can’t say that’, he thinks to himself.
He stands up in his chair and yells across the writers room,
“Can we say a car has beater appeal?”
His editor paced over to his desk.
“The new Rio?” His editor asks.
“I mean… We really shouldn’t.”
“What do I say then?”
His editor reads what he has now.
“Nah you can’t say that either.”
They both stare blankly at the screen for a moment.
The journalist spoke up, “I mean we tested the A/C and it worked fine. It’s not really a beater.”
“Yeah it works fine NOW,” his editor responded.
The editor paused for a few seconds.
“Just go with the usual then.”
The journalist opened a notepad document and pasted a section from it onto the article.
“Shoddy interior, but can be fun to drive. The automatic transmission almost begs to be neutral dropped. Engine will sound better with a hole in the muffler. Understeers like a fucking bowling ball. A good car you can pick up used for $1200 dollars and tool around in like an asshole.”
The editor patted the journalist on the back, “Yeah that’s good.”
“But no, really. Fix this shit.”