Lexus Introduces New Bank Vault Engine Cover That Only Opens With Urine Sample

NAGOYA—Lexus has introduced a new super secure engine cover designed to keep consumers from fiddling with their vehicles engines.

We asked a team of Lexus engineers how it works.

“Well typically you got the oil fill, washer fluid, coolant reservoir, all that stuff. We’re gonna handle all that now.”

“The only filler cap left is for the piss test.”

How does the dealer open the cover then?

“You give us a sample when you buy the car. We just use a turkey baster to give it a few squirts when your car overheats or some shit.”

“Little voice says ‘thank you sir’ in Japanese whenever you do it. Isn’t that funny?”

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