GM Insider Says Executives Treat Cadillac Like, “Your frustrated dad treats a malfunctioning printer”

DETROIT—B/T was at Cadillac headquarters Friday to get information about the new CT6 V. However, the meeting in the small glass conference room veered slightly off topic.

“We are upset that the CT6 V is only gonna be limited production,” our host, James said.

“But really, we consider ourselves lucky that we were able to do it at-”

“You piece of shit!” A voice exclaimed in the background.

Behind James appeared a man in a suit, haggling with one of the color printers.

“That’s one of the execs from the board over there.” James said, looking over his shoulder.

“Just fucking print my page!” The man yelled as he smacked the top of the printer.

The printer spat out a page halfway, and then began to pull it back in.

“Oh no, no. Get back out here you little bitch!”

The printer pulled in the sheet and then printed it back out. For a moment the man looked satisfied, but then he examined the page closely.

“Shits fucking upside down! What the fuck!”

He jammed his fingers into several of the printer’s buttons.

“Printed upside down. How does that work?” James said, under his breath.

“Toner is fucked up!”

He began ripping out the ink and toner cartridges one by one.

“We just replaced those yesterday. They’re all fine.”

The printer then spat out a half page again, and began to reel it back in.

“Oh yeah perfect just like that!” The executive said, grabbing the sheet and ripping it out of the printer.

He grabbed the printer by its sides, shaking it like he was trying to talk sense into it.

“WHY CAN’T YOU JUST DO WHAT I WANT?”

The executive looked at the torn sheet in his hand, frustrated.

“Whatever.” He said, stuffing it into his pocket.

James turned back and looked at us, raising his eyebrows.

“Sure hope that’s not our new EV.”

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