NEWARK—After purchasing what he describes as “A pretty beat 325 with busted VANOS and a relatively steady oil leak”, local man Stewart Rogers was met with what he describes as “unwarranted controversy” after arriving at work Monday morning.
“Well what happened to Stew?” one of his coworkers asked.
“He came into work this morning like he just inherited the Federal Reserve.”
“Had a big top hat on with a three piece suit, swinging a cane around, smoking a cigar.”
“I asked him for a quarter to feed a parking meter, he threw a bunch of change at the ground and spat on me when I tried to pick it up”
We asked another coworker to further clarify what had happened.
“Well none of that happened, but he showed up to work in a BMW.”
“A BMW!” The other coworker repeated.
“I knew something was up when he got guacamole every time at Chipotle.”
“And extra cheese!” The other coworker chimed in.
“What kind of person can afford that?”