Atheists And Agnostics Flock To Church, Thanking God For Killing Scion Before They Could Make Fortnite Themed tC

We recently received an anonymous email from a recent convert to Christianity. Thinking it was a mistake, we almost deleted it before reading the body of the text.

“I had a few drinks Wednesday night and decided to go to bed early.”

“I had an extremely vivid dream, or a nightmare really.”

“I was driving down 476 near Allentown. I was in the middle lane.”

“All of a sudden there’s a kid behind me in a TC flashing me to get out of the way. We are the only two people on the highway.”

“I pull into the right lane and the kid floors it to get past me.”

“Whole lot of noise but not much actual movement.”

“As he went by there were all these Fortnite themed decals on the side of his car, and a big cloud of vapor poured out of the passenger window.”

“I woke up in a cold sweat and immediately went to church.”

“I went to confession for plastidipping my Civic’s wheels orange in high school.”

“Then I went to the altar and thanked God profusely for putting Scion out of business.”

“I’m not so sure about this Jesus fella but I plan to go every week from now on.”

“Food is alright too.”

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