Former Ford Employee Says He Had To Come Up With Model Names Starting With E And F At Gunpoint

We recently met with a former Ford employee who prefers to remain anonymous. This is his story.

“First day I get there everything seems fine, normal office, people are all nice, it was just like the job description you know? It was great.”

When did things start to seem odd?

“Well one day I’m working and a guy comes up behind me, starts looking over my shoulder.”

“You ever seen Office Space? Guy looked just like Bill Lumberg.”

“Anyway, he starts asking me all these weird questions. I had a cup of coffee on my desk and he starts asking,

‘That coffee… hot enough for you?’

‘Taste alright?’

I just smiled and nodded. ”

Then what happened? We asked.

“Next thing I know I’m in the boiler room with a camera pointing at my face tied to a chair. There’s a guy in a blue ski mask with a gun to my head, telling me to say nouns and verbs that start with E or F.”

“So I just started rambling!”

What did you say? We insisted.

“I was like, uhhh… Forage! Exit! Fabricate! Enclave! Then the guy says, ‘Buick already has the enclave you stupid fuck!”

“Then I said Uhhhh Escape! Then the guy says, ‘No! No escape! not until you give us five good ones!'”

“Then he knocked me out. I guess Escape panned out though. Woke up the next day at Mercury. Did Milan and Marauder for them. Really nice folks over there.”

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