FREMONT— In a recent visit to Tesla’s tent factory in the desert near Fremont, a Tesla spokesperson has denied the notion that the massive tent in the desert is actually a circus being lead by a very wealthy clown. We were given a brief tour of the facilities to try and get to the bottom of the controversy.
“You can see the paint area here.” Said the spokesperson. As we walked by we saw several employees spraying cars a variety of colors, and one employee in the corner taking drinks from a bottle of what appeared to be paint thinner, and spraying fire out of his mouth. The spokesperson conducting the tour threw his pen at the employee, insisting to us that no such activities were taking place here.
After visiting the paint area, we were walked by the offices of the floor managers, which is actually just a series of re-purposed Model 3’s. Each car contained what appeared to be at least sixteen employees per car. Our guide yelled at them, “Hey! What the hell do you think this is? Get out of there!” We were assured this was not standard operating procedure.
An employee then walked by our tour guide, tossing him three lower control arms in quick succession, which our guide began to juggle with relative ease. “Oh haha very funny.” said our guide, speaking to the employee. He then looked at us and quickly dropped all the parts on the ground in a look of concern.
After this incident, our tour guide decided it was best if we were to leave. We threw away our tickets on the way out, and left.