FCA Says Lancia Will Keep Making Lifeless Appliances Until The Brand Learns From Inspiring A Generation Of Enthusiasts

TURIN, ITALY— After a bid by enthusiasts to revive the once legendary Lancia Stratos on the Alfa Romeo 4C platform, the Italian Automobile Conglomerate has made several comments regarding the request.

“No.” said a spokesperson when questioned, “Lancia was once a great brand that made people happy and excited, and we simply cant have that.” he continued, “You know what would happen if we did that instead of making re-badged Dodge Caravans? We would be respecting what was once one of the most creative brands in the industry. We can’t do that.”

After asking if the new 124 Spider would get a turbocharged version, we were quickly removed from his office.

 

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