Chevrolet Says They’re Bringing Back The Blazer Name To Milk The Fuck Out Of Anything It Has To Offer

DETROIT— In a press release last week, GM announced their reasoning for releasing the new Blazer.

The press release is quoted as saying, “In releasing the new Blazer, we finally have the opportunity to market a crossover to middle aged men who used to have a Camaro when they were a teenager, and who’s wife won’t let them buy another.”

The new Blazer will be available with an exterior that looks like an even angrier Camaro, as well as the interior straight out of a Camaro.

Officials at GM say the only difference between this and a Camaro is, “That it seats four comfortably and people will get it stuck on the beach.”

When we reached out to see what engines the new Blazer would be available with the GM spokesperson responded, “No good ones.”

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